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Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes are High
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Sales rank 183
Customers rating (based on 183 reviews)
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Foreword by Stephen R. Covey, Author of The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People A PAPERBACK ORIGINAL "Most books make promises. This one delivers. These skills have not only helped us to change the culture of our company, but have also generated new techniques for working together in ways that enabled us to win the largest contract in our industry's history."--Dain M. Hancock, President, Lockheed Martin Aeronautics A powerful, seven-step approach to handling difficult conversations with confidence and skill "Crucial" conversations are interpersonal exchanges at work or at home that we dread having but know we cannot avoid. How do you say what needs to be said while avoiding an argument with a boss, child, or relationship partner? Crucial Conversations offers readers a proven seven-point strategy for achieving their goals in all those emotionally, psychologically, or legally charged situations that can arise in their professional and personal lives. Based on the authors' highly popular DialogueSmart training seminars, the techniques are geared toward getting people to lower their defenses, creating mutual respect and understanding, increasing emotional safety, and encouraging freedom of expression. Among other things, readers also learn about the four main factors that characterize crucial conversations, and they get a powerful six-minute mastery technique that prepares them to work through any highimpact situation with confidence.
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| Publisher | McGraw-Hill | | Release date | 06/2002 | | Availability | Usually ships in 24 hours | | Edition | Paperback |
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 LIFE CHANGING BOOK
THIS BOOK WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE ( WORK,RELATIONSHIPS AT HOME,FRIENDS),IF YOU UNDERSTAND AND PRACTICE THE SKILLS DESCRIBED IN THE BOOK.IT CHANGED MY LIFE.MANY THANKS TO THE AUTHORS.
fantastic book, I highly recommend it.
This is one of the best books I have read in learning new skills especially in communication. I loved these authors- before this book I read, " Influencer" which I highly recommend.
There are many things I loved about this book:
Let's start with the concept of conversations becoming crucial or heated. I never knew there was specific skills that could be use to make conversation better and not have heated conversation escalates. What I learned was to learn to look for when conversation become crucial and when the person you speaking to if not feeling safe and results in violence and/or silence. Awareness in a big part of it. And making sure that both parties are aware of their mutual purpose. They called it starting with the heart. What do you want from this dialogue and what do I want.
Secondly, I love where they show you how to use it, not in an abstract concept but in practical terms. For example, they say take one chapter, re-read it and practice it for a week, then go on to another chapter and do the same. Also, they talked about teaching someone what you learn , in this way , it will reinforced what you learn. Too many books , give you the information and does not tell you how to use in a day to day situation. They even have a chapter on putting it all together. I loved that!
I love the state my path chapter because it shows you how to handle delicate situations. The example they give for this chapter is of a wife thinking her husband is having an affair because of a motel bill. The acronym STATE is used. S share facts( this is the most unthreatening and is black and white) T Tell your story( this is basically your conclusion from facts) , A ask for their take on the facts and the stories) T talk tentatively, I was wondering why ... Do you see if differently ? and last is E encourage testing- can we check this out to see what is going on.
I like the book because it gives you examples of questions you should be asking yourself all the time, like - how would I behave if I really wanted this, what would I do differently? Are we playing games or are we in dialogue?
Use AMPP to get others people views, Ask, Mirror, Paraphrase and Prime. Those are very valuable techniques to use to get others to talk about issues and not things that won't contribute to resolving the crucial conversations.
As you can see , I loved this book
A valuable career developer
Have you ever been in a situation where the right choice of words keeps everyone focused on solving the matter at hand whereas the wrong words results in unproductive feuding and irrelevancies? I certainly have. I went looking for a book like this the moment I realized the importance of this skill. How about you? Interested?
If so, this book can help. It describes how to identify when you've stumbled into a crucial conversation - one where the choice of words is critical, and how to approach this situation.
Essentially the skills centre around how to create a dialogue - the free sharing of relevant information. If you notice people are either forcing irrelevant information into the conversation, or else declining to participate in a productive way, there are strategies to helping them feel safe and thus get the conversation back on track.
One of the first keys is to step back and re-define what you want from the conversation. From there you can define a mutual purpose. The goal is to get everyone focused on that conversation's shared purpose.
To that end, there are several tricks to make people feel more comfortable to share information and stay on track:
* Repeat the mutual purpose, including what you want out of the conversation and what you don't want.
* Apologise when your emotions have caused you to say something you regret, or in a way that you regret.
* Start by stating your facts. Share your interpretation only after the facts have been put on the table.
* When you share your interpretation of the facts, be sure not to represent this opinion as a fact. Invite others to share their interpretations.
* Paraphrase what people have said back to them, without agreeing, disagreeing, or judging the validity or accuracy of their statements.
* Avoid the "Sucker's Choice" between being silent and speaking disrespectfully. Admit to yourself that there is always a way to speak the truth in a respectful way, and that you will find it.
I consider the ability to handle crucial conversations as one of the most important career skills worth developing. I'm glad to have found a book to help me improve.
 You Don't Say...
Or what should you say...
Great book for learning the art of conversation in business and other situations. Great reading.
Good foundation for working on tough issues together
This is a great book for those of us that consult with family businesses, although I have also often used it with my large, publically traded clients, too.
I frequently ask that everyone on the management team read it, and then follow up by going through the key communications methods in a 1-2 hour session. This then becomes a foundation for - or a language for - how to communicate on sensitive issues going forward. Well written and useful.
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