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Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
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Sales rank 896
Customers rating (based on 150 reviews)
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Members of the Harvard Negotiation Project--which brought you the mega-bestseller Getting to YES--show you how to handle your most difficult conversations with confidence and skill. Whether you're dealing with an underperforming employee, disagreeing with your spouse about money or child-rearing, negotiating with a difficult client, or simply saying "no," or "I'm sorry," or "I love you," we attempt or avoid difficult conversations every day. Based on fifteen years of research at the Harvard Negotiation Project, Difficult Conversations walks you through a step-by-step proven approach to having your toughest conversations with less stress and more success. You will learn: how to start the conversation without defensiveness why what is not said is as important as what is ways of keeping and regaining your balance in the face of attacks and accusations how to decipher the underlying structure of every difficult conversationFilled with examples from everyday life, Difficult Conversations will help you on the job, at home, or out in the world. It is a book you will turn to again and again for advice, practical skills, and reassurance."Does this book deliver on [its] promise of an effective way through sticky situations, whether 'with your baby sitter or your biggest client'? It does."-- The New York Times"These talented communicators blend a daunting array of disciplines into highly readable and practical advice."-- Booklist"Brilliant. . . . I've already re-read most of it. I'm using it. What more could a reader ask?"-- Tom Peters"Emotional Intelligence applied to life's tough moments."-- Daniel Goleman
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| Publisher | Penguin (Non-Classics) | | Release date | 04/2000 | | Availability | Usually ships in 24 hours | | Edition | Paperback |
| | List price | $16 | | Our price | $10.4 (you save 35.00%) | | Used price | from $3.63 |
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 Improving the Tough Conversation.
Difficult conversations are a normal part of business life---as well as personal life. Therefore, it is an absolute must to become very good at leading them. The authors argue that difficult conversations generally fall prey to three assumptions:
1. The Truth Assumption: I am right; you are wrong
2. The Intention Invention : Your intentions were bad or selfish
3. The Blame Frame : You are to blame
By dropping these assumptions and beginning the conversation from an objective, "third story" point of view, the authors teach how to listen and inquire what the other personâÂÂ(tm)s story is. Doing so gets rid of the three assumptions, and focuses the conversation on solutions. The real-world examples are particularly illuminating.
By becoming better at difficult conversations, the book challenges the reader to become a better manager, leader, and ultimately, a better person.
This book can change your relationships
This is one of my favorite books. It changed my relationships with family, friends, and coworkers for the better. Difficult Conversations presents a common sense approach to interacting and influencing people. This book stresses listening, understanding (not necessarily agreement), and communication.
 Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss what Matters Most
The book was recommended to me by one of the lawyers in our firm who is an attorney and is an Arbitrator for several organizations. He stated that even after going through many years of formal training to be an Arbitrator and Medicator that he learned more from this book than all of his formal college training. In reading the book and being a Mediator for our County, I agree.
Do You Communicate? Read this.
Difficult Conversations by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton and Sheila Heedn
is so practical and readable I purchased a copy for each person in a
communication skills training program I provided recently.
Just because we speak, write, e-mail, or tweet, we think we've
communicated effectively. But all we've done is catapult words into
the stratosphere. According to Difficult Conversations, for every conversation there are
actually three conversations going on for each person.
Unless all these conversations are brought out in the open,
misunderstandings rule.
Difficult Conversations provides a template,
a step-by-step system for approaching those tough conversations we all
have - or avoid having.
Difficult Conversations urges the reader to go from delivering
information during a conflict to taking a curious, learning stance.
Instead of blaming and defending yourself, explore the other person's
experience. Try to learn more about what went on and what's going on.
Until you each understand the three conversations, you can't move
forward.
You'll read Difficult Conversations more than once. Every page will
be dog-eared and highlighted profusely. It may be an overstatement,
but only slightly, to say you won't want to leave home without this
power-packed volume.
Solid practical help for leaders
Everyone has to have difficult conversations and this book can help make them more effective and less painful. This research-based approach is entirely practical and useful. The techniques can be used in a variety of situations. Like all skills, it still requires practice to do it well, but this book is a good place to learn the methods.
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